All I have to say is that I now realize why my siblings and I didn't have music lessons or play organized sports. I'm positive it's not that my parents didn't want us to play instruments or be on teams and such, it's that it was logistically impossible! (Aside from the fact that in the good old days, a child could/did actually go outside and play with the neighborhood kids after school and come home when the streetlights came on. I hate perverts and video games that have now made that impossible!!!) They just plain couldn't get up to ten children to varying activities every day of the week.
In our house, when a child turns five, they can start a sport/activity. Ideally they will, at some point shortly after that, begin music lessons as well. But at five, they get to do an activity. Samy's birthday is in 16 days - not that she's counting. She will be five years old. The magic number. She has gone to baseball practice and games, ballet classes, football games, dance recitals. She has sat through piano lessons, oboe practice, and track meets. It is now her turn and boy, if she isn't letting me know!
I have gently tried to cajole her into taking ballet classes like big sister. I have offered tap class, even hip hop class (which I think is skanky dancing), so that she could be at the same studio as Maren. She wants nothing to do with it. Samantha will be a gymnast and nothing else. "Maren can teach me ballet at home", she says, "I want to do 'nastics'!"
Of coarse the gymnastics place is across town. So, as I sit here with all the schedules in front of me, I am really having a difficult time finding a spot to fit in gymnastics. It shouldn't be this difficult. Eric has a sport and oboe. Maren has ballet and piano. Logan only has a sport - no instrument has been desired as of yet. But it is that difficult because I didn't think, years ago when beginning to have the million children, that when they turn 8 they also start Cub Scouts and Achievement Days (the Church equivalent to Cubs for girls). At 12 yrs, Cub Scouts turns to BOY Scouts/Mutual (weekly Church youth meeting), which goes on a bit longer and adds many other Saturday activities and Sunday evening "firesides".
Holy crap, what have I done?! And there is still one more child to add to the schedule. That baby will be five in only three and a half more years! What have I done!?!
***deep breath***
Here is the logistic problem: I can fit gymnastics in on Wednesdays at 5 pm. With that, we will have to pick Maren up from piano and race across town. BUT! Starting in the fall, Maren will be in Achievement Days on Tuesdays, which means her dance class will have to not be on Tuesdays anymore. I'm trying to not have activities on Mondays because we have to move Family Home Evening there instead of Sundays because of all the new firesides and devotionals that come with being 12 (Eric). Saturday is full of ballet and baseball already - along with the (all too) occasional camp out, band competition, recital and/or youth service project. Thursday there is always a random school meeting/talent show/family fun night, etc., and Friday is all baseball. So, so far, Wednesday is okay for gymnastics, but will have to fit in ballet or something else in the near future. On top of all this, I have to keep in mind that in the fall also, Logan (and probably Maren) will begin their UIL training again, which will keep them after school (30 minute drive each way) a good hour a couple/three days a week through January. I can't even go on.
Now I'm tired. I've gotten myself confused. I need to work up a spread-sheet and look it all over.
So, as I'm going through all this (and I don't mean to sound complain-y, I'm more shocked and overwhelmed than complaining). I'm really mostly wondering how a family is supposed to eat dinner at home, let alone together! The funniest part is that I know many families who have fewer children and way more activities. What do people do? We are always kind of the family who doesn't really do much. I thought so at least. What do you cut out? Church activities? Exercise/team building activities? Developing talent activities? Academic activities? I'm going to need a whole new budget for eating dinner in the car. Then for sure we can't cut out the exercise activities!
Whatever. I'll make it work. The best part of all is that all the scheduling/driving/hectic-ness all ends right. about. 7 pm. Just in time for the dad to come home from work. Why does that crack me up?
He gets the night shift - that's all I have to say about that.
(P.S.: I really miss my camera. And now I'm having trouble downloading clip art here. So sorry for the "unillistrated" posts. Hopefully there will be a new camera in the next 16 days...)
10 comments:
This is why we do nothing... I like doing nothing! It also explains why we were never allowed to do anythign as kids, either, which I never realized until I learned just how much work it is to get kids places all the time.
I feel like I could cut and paste your post right on to my blog! Sometimes I sit and stare at my calendar as if it will all makes sense if I just stare long enough. We have the same one sport, one music lesson per child, but after you throw in church, it is crazy! And, like you said, what can you cut?
When you figure this one out, let me know....until then, I'll be thinking of you as we eat dinner in our car!
I am out of breath and tired just from reading your blog! I really give you a lot of kudos for what you do with your kids. You deserve the mother of the year award (or least and full day at the spa!).
I only have 3 and I understand what you are saying. It makes me cry...I know, everything makes me cry...but this makes me cry, an abnormal amount...even for me.
We finally decided that each child only gets 1 sport a year. I fretted about that decision so much...like I was denying my children from developing talents but it is the only thing that has worked for us. Evan chose football this past fall then Adam chose basketball and now Brian is doing soccer. It has saved our lives. One year both Evan and Adam chose football and that was tricky but then we were done for the year.
I think if Evan wants to play multiple sports in middle school or high school I will let him because he can just stay after and I will pick him up...but we will have to see how it goes.
The one sport and Cub Scouts and Boys Scouts and Mike's calling and my calling make (we both have to be there on Wednesday nights) life almost too busy as it is...so this is the only way we can handle life.
Any chance of finding carpools? Don't worry, in 4 years Eric can start helping to drive ;) I'm sure you will keep it all under control, you are awesome! Love you.
Nicole, I'm so excited to read your blog. AND to find out that I'm not the only mom struggling with this. We are trying to be a family that doesn't do "too much" - one music lesson and one "fun" activity and I always feel overscheduled these days. And our kids are still little. I know it'll get worse as the kids get older. This week alone CJ and I are splitting up to take different kids to different things and we have things on the calendar every day. But, what would we cut out? Nothing...
When you get it all figured out, let me know cuz I think you're one of the best moms I know. You're doing something right - even if you spend the majority of your day shuttling kids to their things. Your family is awesome!
When they start middle school can they transfer music lessons to band class? then it will be during school hours with an occasional concert?
You are do eloquent in your thoughts, I on the other hand could only say "over-scheduled", it's not that we intend to be, it just happens when everyone is going everywhere. and what don't they want to do? Somehow it works...Next fall I WILL cut back, if they let me. Lydia is working on her own car pooling so she can change dance studios and dance more..she is crazy, i told her she had to pay for some of this extra dancing and she just stared at me and said "it isn't that much money" huh..
Oh yeah. I always thought parents were nuts for spoiling their kids by giving them a car when they turned 16. But I am seriously considering it for my 14-yr-old in a couple of years. It might be a junker, but I need another driver in this family! The time thing (and yes, the money, of course) is why my dd has never taken gymnastics, even though she desperately wants to. Because I simply don't have the time to take her three cities away several times a week. I totally understand.
I am trying to tamp down the mommy guilt because our kids *will* survive without all the activities. Or so I tell myself, anyway!
I solved all those problems when I opened my own dance studio in my home, and started coaching all the children in the neighborhood their various sports in my yard. And in my spare time I feed the hungry and clothe the naked.
I find it really helps to strike a balance, plus frees up some extra time to teach my daughter to sew. Oh we so enjoy practicing the duet we plan to sing in Sacrament meeting during that time too. And I'm always just a step away when the bread is done baking.
I think the key though, is to never miss that 10 mile run in the mornings or the book a day from each of the standard works. That me time is so important to refuel before the children enthusiastically tumble in for the family devotional followed by individual time spent with each child!
If you'd like, I'd be happy to come down and teach an Enrichment mini-class. I mean, I'm no expert, but I'll help where I can!
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